NEW YORK TIMES — Many successful (homosexual) marriages share an open secret

New York, New York
January 28, 2010

Many successful (homosexual) marriages share an open secret
by Scott James

“As the trial phase of the constitutional battle to overturn (California’s) ban on same-sex marriage concludes in federal court, (homosexual) nuptials are portrayed by opponents as an effort to rewrite the traditional rules of matrimony. Quietly, outside of the news media and courtroom spotlight, many (homosexual) couples are doing just that, according to groundbreaking new research.

A study to be released next month…reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many. Some (homosexual) men and lesbians argue that, as a result, they have stronger, longer-lasting and more honest relationships. And while that may sound counterintuitive, some experts say boundary-challenging (homosexual) relationships represent an evolution in marriage — one that might point the way for the survival of the institution.

New research at San Francisco State University reveals just how common open relationships are among (homosexual) men and lesbians in the Bay Area. The Gay Couples Study has followed 556 male couples for three years — about 50 percent of those surveyed have sex outside their relationships, with the knowledge and approval of their partners. …’With straight people, it’s called affairs or cheating,’ said Colleen Hoff, the study’s principal investigator, ‘but with gay people it does not have such negative connotations.’

…None of this is news in the (homosexual) community, but few will speak publicly about it. …They (worry) that discussing the subject could undermine the legal fight for same-sex marriage.

‘The traditional American marriage is in crisis, and we need insight,’ (Joe Quirk, author of the best-selling relationship book ‘It’s Not You, It’s Biology’) said, citing the fresh perspective (homosexual) couples bring to matrimony. ‘If innovation in marriage is going to occur, it will be spearheaded by homosexual marriages.’”

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